Sunday, July 27, 2014

~ The Silence Is Heart Breaking ~

This house has been far too quiet for the past couple of months. The dogs are still playing tricks on us but the cat seems just as lost as we are. There are only a few things that I miss; the laughter, the singing, the pranks we would play on one another, the hugs and kisses. Yes those I miss, but in the big picture of it all I really do not miss much.

The peaceful calm is helping my body and mind to heal. Where before the chaos, constant fighting, drama, and lies were only making my health decline at a rapid and scary pace. The quietness at times is heartbreaking but I know in my heart it is for the best.

I am in no condition to continue fighting a war where the more you lie the more you win. I will always speak nothing but the truth. They cannot and will not change that in me.

They did not win I chose not to fight any longer. There is a big difference here I chose not to play his game and continue to fight an unnecessary war. Finally, I chose me and what is best for me not what is expected of me. I have no regrets for I believe if you lie there should be severe consequences. Well now they finally have their consequence for the years of lies they have told .

I wonder if they are sorry for what they have done? Do they even care? Do they finally realize what we have told them about lying? Do they even realize it has been the years of their lies that brought us here where we are today?

I am at peace with my choice although there are still very brief moments of sadness. I suddenly have new roles in life and am unsure where to begin in this new phase of my life. I always land on my feet it is the sudden newness of it all that leaves me wondering what I am supposed to do next.

I have begun by focusing on my new husband, my book, my blog, and on our new business. This has helped to keep my mind occupied for the most part. But it is the silence before I fall asleep, that is the worst part for me. I wonder how long it will take for this to become the new normal for me?

©2014 Lysa Wilds