Saturday, April 26, 2014

Today is Finally My Wedding Day!

Well it is finally here, my wedding day!  I am like a child on Christmas Eve and have not been able to sleep because I am excited and nervous at the same time. 
I had given up on love and dating all together for about two years until my knight in shining armor came along with the glass slipper that actually fit perfectly!  Kenny is the love of my life, the half that makes me whole, and everything I have ever dreamed of in a man!
Just wanted to share my excitement with the world! In 5 1/2 hours I will officially become Mrs. Lysa Wilds!  Can't believe the day is finally here!
I have written a blog but haven't had time to post it with all of the last minute preparations but will post it soon!  Here's wishing you all a perfect day just like mine will be!
~ Lysa

©2014 Lysa Wilds

Friday, April 18, 2014

Uncertainty in the midst of switching roles: Becoming a Housewife…

Being a housewife or stay-at-home Mom was never on my list of dreams.  I have always been a hard worker and have paid my own way through life.  I even worked my way through college as a full-time student and single Mother of two preschoolers…there wasn’t much time for sleep or relaxation.
Obviously, I am not afraid of hard work nor am I lazy.  After all, my last “real” job entailed working at least 45 hours a week in the office.  But due to the nature of the real estate business I was basically on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week taking phone calls while making dinner, grocery shopping, and doing homework with my daughters.  Thank God I am efficient at multi-tasking or it would have been a nightmare!  Keep in mind I did all of this as a single Mother as well.

In 2009 I was laid off, like many of us here in the United States were, and found myself desperately searching for a job, anything to bring home a paycheck.  Well anything within reason that is.  For two and a half years this desperate search continued with me only finding a few very demeaning positions for minimum wage or just barely above.

Then in January 2012 my life, or so it seemed came to a crashing halt when I was diagnosed with a crippling and incurable disease.  Since then I have struggled internally with feelings of helplessness and being helpless in some regards became my new reality.  I hate to admit it but at times I have caught myself feeling damaged and useless in my new physical state.

I am working on changing my way of thinking and as my wedding quickly approaches, only eight days left, I am trying to figure out what my new role as housewife should look like.  I am already pretty thrifty, something I learned from my own Mother, and I’m really good with a budget, although there is always room for improvement.
I have decided that since I am not working outside of the home I need to focus more on things around the house more than I do now (something I have never been very good at).  I have learned that if I research, plan, and price match I can save us a substantial amount of money on our grocery bill.  What I do still struggle with is what else should be in my new job description?  I mean that can’t really be all of it, can it?

I’m open to any and all suggestions to guide me through these uncertain times and learning phase, so to speak.  Also, please feel free to share your own experiences and personal learning experiences!  ( :

©2014 Lysa Wilds

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Homeowners receive parking tickets in their driveways…

In an unsuspecting neighborhood in Glendale, Arizona, it is now illegal for a select group of homeowners to park in their driveways.  On April 15, the Glendale Police Department surprised homeowners, with the unfortunate luck of owning a home with incredibly shorter than average driveways, by placing parking tickets on their windshields.

In this well established neighborhood there are two types of homes built by different home builders.  The majority of the homes were built in 1974 but there is a small pocket of homes that were built in 1979.  The latter of the two have always been faced with challenges when it comes to parking.   Their driveways were poorly planned and are almost half the size of the average driveway.  So short, that a Volkswagen Bug parked in one would hang over the sidewalk.

The majority of residents in this particular section choose to park their vehicles in the driveway instead of the garage.  As homeowners and tax payers they have assumed for many years that this was their right to do so.  By doing nothing more than parking in front of their homes, in their driveways, they received parking tickets on their windshields.  No warning, no grace period, just tickets in the amount of $32 for parking in their very own driveways, in front of the homes that they own.

They have called the telephone number printed on the ticket in search of answers, just a simple explanation as to why, after 35 years is it now illegal to park in these miniature driveways?  No such luck there, for on the other end of the telephone was only a worthless recording without the option to speak to a live human being.  Nor, did it give an alternate number to try.  Eventually, after several attempts, one homeowner was able to speak to an on duty police officer but only found more discouraging news.  In short, the only option they were given was to hire a code compliance investigator along with an attorney to try and sway the city to change this parking ordinance despite the poorly thought out driveways.

Left with only a single affordable option for these seemingly innocent homeowners, they united and wrote out requests for a court date to fight for the privilege of parking in their very own driveways once again.  So with a glimmer of hope, they now prepare for their day in court to try and make the city see their side of this dilemma in which they clearly had no choice.  Pictures were taken to support their fight along with measurements of the two very different sized driveways within their community.  Their stories will be heard; at least that is their hope.  Will they find an explanation along with some justice?  Or will the day be as wasted as that space in front of their homes appears to be

©2014 Lysa Wilds

To be continued…

Seriously, a parking ticket for parking in my're kidding right?!?

I have lived in my house for about four years now and the driveways are shorter than most driveways in this neighborhood as my home builder was different from the rest of the homes a few blocks away.  The driveways are so short that even if a VW Bug parked in my driveway it would hang over the sidewalk. 

I have been parking in the driveway for four years now and my neighbor in her driveway for nine years now and a huge surprise to us we both were ticketed for parking on a sidewalk.  I wouldn't be complaining if I received a ticket for something I actually did wrong but to get a ticket for something I can't control is beyond me.  Isn't a driveway there for the purpose of parking and why should I be ticketed for being innocent in the making of the driveway?

I was just going to pay the $32 fine and be done with it but it's the wrong thing to do.  We shouldn't have to pay fines for a driveway that is too short and we can't avoid.
I mean these houses were built in1979 and I sure didn't design them.  If I would have designed them actual cars would be able to park in them.  Why now after 35 years does the city have a problem with our parking situation?

My neighbor was told we would have to hire an attorney and take it up with the city. That doesn't seem fair either.  So we have sent in written requests for a court date so we can argue our innocence.

I was left asking what do I pay property taxes for...well apparently on Wednesday it was so a police officer with nothing better to do could write innocent law abiding citizens parking tickets for circumstances beyond their control. 

©2014 Lysa Wilds

Saturday, April 12, 2014

What Did I Just Sign Up For?!?!

     As I'm sitting here watching my nephew's soccer game and now my niece's soccer game it brings me back to when my daughter Brooklynn was in Kindergarten, about 9 years ago.  
Brooklynn came home from school one day with some paperwork about joining a soccer league. She was so excited and begged me to let her join. I read through the paperwork and decided it was a great opportunity for her to make friends and learn some valuable life skills by being a part of a team. I went to the meeting to sign her up with all of the forms filled out and my checkbook in hand only to be informed they didn't have a coach for her age group. 
     I was disappointed and heartbroken for Brooklynn then someone asked me if I would consider coaching the team. I thought to myself, what do I know about coaching or soccer for that matter. But before my mind could catch up with those thoughts I said yes. All of a sudden I was the head coach of a five to six year old soccer team. Thankfully I was going to have an assistant coach so I wouldn't be in this all alone...the only catch was that they hadn't found one yet.
     The reality of it all didn't really sink in until I was driving the 25 miles back to our town. (Keep in mind we were living in rural Iowa at the time.) I turned off Highway 3 onto Main Street and made my way to our house where I parked the car in the driveway and just stared down at the passenger seat where all of the coaching books sat. After fighting back tears for at least 20 minutes, I gathered up the rule books, team roster, and coaches’ books and slowly got out of my car and wandered into the house. Still not knowing what I had gotten myself into and confused about how it happened. 
     Where was I supposed to find time to coach a soccer team? I was a full-time college student, I worked part-time, and I was a mother to a five year old and three year old...I didn't even have time for myself. The pity party didn't last long because the stubborn Capricorn in me took over and I was determined to be the best coach this league had ever seen.
     I sat down at my computer and researched the rules and regulations for soccer. I learned what each position was called and what their job was. I read the books the league had given me the day I signed up then I took out my team roster to see how many kids were on my team and how many were boys and how many were girls. Found that Tuesday and Thursday late afternoons were the best times for me to hold practice. Then I looked up tips, ideas, and techniques on how to teach five and six year olds to play soccer.
Finally I sent out a letter to the parents introducing myself because I was new to the community, announcing practice times and location, a snack and beverage schedule for practices, along with uniform requirements. 
     We had four practices before our first game so I taught my team different drills to build up their skills and had two practice games half of my team against the other half. Things were going better than I ever thought. I'm going to brag by saying that I was an awesome only four practices a bunch of kids who knew nothing about soccer were running up and down the field like a well oiled machine for a bunch of give and six year olds!
     Then came our first game and everyone was excited and ready to win. We got out on the field and I was running up and down the field coaching my team when all of a sudden Brooklynn was lying in the middle of the field kicking, screaming, and crying! I rushed over to her to see what was wrong and while sobbing she said, "You're not paying attention to me just the other kids!" The tantrum got worse; I literally had to drag her off the field so they could continue the game. 
     I was horrified, embarrassed, and didn't know what to do. I still didn't have the assistant coach I was promised so it was only me out there. We won that game miraculously despite the fact that I had to carry Brooklynn up and down the field to coach the rest of my kids. 
     That was the end of my coaching career and I was never talked into coaching or doing anything of the sort ever again!

©2014 Lysa Wilds

Thursday, April 3, 2014

The True Meaning of Self Love; My Personal Journey

All of my adult life I've heard you need to truly love yourself or you will never be truly happy, find true love, and so on.  I honestly thought I loved myself and was confident that I knew who I really was so I didn't know what all the fuss was about.  I mean doesn't everyone love themselves, I would find myself thinking.  Then, a little over two years ago I was diagnosed with an incurable disease that progressively got worse. 

I alienated myself from the world and for more than a year I locked myself up in my house, only leaving when absolutely necessary.  I only allowed a few friends to see me in this weak and vulnerable way.  I was embarrassed of my wheelchair, the weight I was gaining, and the way the bones in my feet were being deformed. 

It was then, at the weakest, most loneliest time of my life when I realized not only that I didn't know who I was but that I never really loved myself either.  I also realized I had spent my life always putting everyone else and their needs first, ignoring my own real needs.  It was a long, lonely journey but slowly, with lots of tears, I began to get to know myself and what I did and didn't want in my life. 

I reflected on every aspect of my life focusing on the good and bad outcomes of past events.  Some things that I didn't want to face, some that brought back tremendous pain, and many things I didn't want to admit were my fault.  Now that was a real eye opener.  What I realized was that if I would have truly loved myself back then things probably would have turned out much different.  

If I wouldn't have done this self-reflection I don't think I'd be getting ready to walk down the aisle in two weeks like I am doing today, nor would I have finally known what true love was like.  I can honestly say that I now not only know who I am but I truly love and respect myself. Something that is still new to me. 

I have slowly come to terms with my disease thanks to my self-reflection and my amazingly supportive fiancĂ©, Kenny.  Slowly my confidence continues to return and the new and improved Lysa gets stronger mentally and physically every day, as this is a life long journey.  

I can say for the first time in my life that this is who I am; take it or leave it, makes no difference to me.  I found out what it truly means to love yourself, I dare you to do the same!



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