Welcome to the fifth edition of My “Blonde” Problems. Now before you all start hating on me, I must confess that I am a natural blonde. I colored my hair black several years ago because I wanted to be taken more seriously. As you can probably tell from that statement alone, as soon as I open my mouth to speak I tend to ruin the façade almost immediately! These problems that I speak of are the type of problems that only happen to me…or so it seems. If you are blonde too, you can probably agree. Here are the “Blonde” Problems that have recently occurred:
The first “blonde” problem of the week actually didn’t even happen to me, for once. Whew…that was such a relief! Instead it happened to my husband, Kenny, and to top it off it was in front of my entire family on Thanksgiving Day. It all began when I didn’t fix him his dinner plate.
Usually I do fix a plate for him but this time when it was time to eat I was busy taking pictures of everyone and everything. Instead of waiting for me, Kenny opted to get in line so he could prepare his own plate. Neither one of us thought too much about it, after all he is an adult, so I continued to just snap away.
Eventually, I made my way outside to the patio to join the rest of the family. I quickly noticed that Kenny had saved me a seat next to him and as I sat down to eat he asked me in an unassuming and rather casual tone, “How do you like the gravy on my mashed potatoes?” With a puzzled look on my face I thought what an odd and random question that was?!?! Then all of a sudden laughter erupted all around me. At first I thought they were laughing at me and the expression on my face.
But, as I sat there silently in a rather confused state, I took a closer look at what exactly it was that Kenny had on his plate. At about the same time he started to explain it all to me. You see, somehow, I am still trying to figure this one out, he had mistaken the homemade applesauce for the gravy and smothered his potatoes with it instead. He didn’t even realize what he had done until he took his first unsuspecting bite and made a really funny face. As he tried to explain even further, I too began to laugh rather hysterically.
Then my sister, Melissa, added in between her bursts of laughter, “You should have seen his face!” All I could think of was how I felt sorry for him as the “dumb blonde" in me must obviously be wearing off on him. And knowing my family, it is going to take months, if not years before they let the poor guy live it down! Even the kids made fun of him the rest of the day!
Now this “Blonde” Problem is one that did happen to me…and wouldn't you know, it too was on Thanksgiving Day! Like I mentioned earlier, throughout the day I was happily busy snapping away with the camera on my cell phone capturing memories of my family celebrating the holiday. Well I noticed my nephew, Shelton, playing by his swing in the tree. Being my most favorite young man in the world I made my way over there to see what he was up to.
Thinking he would just tell me no, I asked him rather sweetly, in a special Auntie voice, if he would get on the swing and let me take some pictures of him. You see, my sister is a photographer and for 12 years now he has pretty much grown up in front of a camera lens. So he now refuses to have his picture taken and treats anyone with a camera like the paparazzi. So when he actually agreed I was completely flabbergasted yet so very happy.
So he sat on the swing and I began to snap away but that’s where everything went wrong. Out of the blue he decided to swing on the swing. And instead of moving out of the way and using the zoom like anyone else would have done, I just stood there snapping away pictures of him and I was totally in the way. The next thing you know his feet slammed right into me and he said while he giggled, “Aunt Lysa I thought you would move out of the way!”
So what did I do…absolutely nothing but giggle along with him. Seriously, what in the hell is wrong with me? I just continued to stand where I was as he continued to swing. And as he came towards me again he had to open his legs to avoid knocking me off of my feet. As he laughed even harder I finally realized that I needed to move out of the way.
Not only did I feel honored that he had allowed me to take some pictures of him but they were really good in the moment shots as well. And as a bonus we shared a pretty funny moment there, my special boy and me. It was one of those things that just made our bond even stronger. Because if I wouldn't have shared this story with you today, no one would have been any wiser as to my stupidity that day.
Shelton sitting on the swing posing for me still unsure about all of this.
He just started swinging...you think I would have moved at this point, look at how close he is to me.
This is just after he kicked me in the stomach...notice he is talking and saying, "Aunt Lysa I thought you would move out of the way!"
This is the second time swinging towards me when he had to open his legs to avoid kicking me again and knocking me off of my feet.