Friday, June 20, 2014

~ The Most Trying of Times ~

I'm going through, for a lack of a better description, an incredibly difficult time in my life. I feel the need to write about it so I can process it all and get it all out at the same time. But, and it's a really big but, I cannot and will not give any specific details. This leaves me perplexed because how can I write about it without actually talking about it? Well, here we go...

I have been bullied, tortured, verbally abused, mentally abused, and pushed to the edge of insanity for over four years now. Technically it has been about 12 years, but the last four have been unfathomable! Still not sure if it is obsession, hatred, or both that is fueling this persons desire to hurt me. Enough is enough already!

They will never push me over the edge like we all assume is their master plan. I am a much stronger person than they have ever given me credit for. I am even stronger now that I have taken back the power I gave them to hurt me in the first place. This is only a perplexing and frightening situation in lieu of a hurtful one for the first time.

I have been married less than two months. This is suppose to be my honeymoon and my happily ever after. Not my biggest nightmare parts three and four; but that is what it has become.

I actually found out today that this recent scheme began 25 days before my wedding day. A ploy that not only myself, but those closest to me believe was developed to try and ruin my wedding day. Thankfully God was watching out for me and it did not commence until after our wedding.

My life story needs to be turned into a book. It is far stranger than fiction with unbelievable twists and turns throughout. There are several situations in which you would be certain of the outcome then at the last minute the exact opposite occurs again and again. One day, when I am ready to relive it all I will do just that. For my own safety and sanity it may just have to wait about five more years.

Our justice system is so incredibly flawed that my stomach turns just thinking about it. I want my justice at last! I want for once, for the judge to actually look at only the proven facts and the evidence before him instead of believing the fabricated and exaggerated lies, that are all just speculation. There is not a shed of evidence or proof to his stories. This person will and has concocted unbelievable tales every time accusations are brought up against him. It is his way of deflecting the situation at hand away from him and aimed in my direction. He is a master manipulator and a pathological liar and that is being kind.

I can only pray that the time is approaching rather quickly in which I just might obtain the justice I so desperately want and deserve. I'm fearful of the decision I may be forced to hurts my heart and soul to even think about making it. But beyond a shadow of a doubt this reign of terror, control, and abuse must be brought to a permanent end this time around! One way or another it WILL cease to emerge EVER again! This time a line has been crossed that never should have been crossed. It will no longer be tolerated in any case, in any event, or in any manner from here on out.

I have exhaustively and painstakingly been pushed past my emotional and physical limit. My health is deteriorating on a consistent basis due to the unnecessary stress being forced upon me as a direct result of his fraudulent accusations. I am constantly in unimaginable pain and am hardly without severe tremors in my feet. This is accompanied by perpetual seizures that have me terrified I might not make it out of this alive.

I am absolutely frightened, heartbroken, repulsed, and devastated when taking everything in mind. I may, as a result of the deterioration of my health, be incapable of seeing this battle through to the end. It is a choice I struggle with every second of every day. I will persevere until I am on my death bed but it never should have come this far.

I am disgusted with every aspect of the judicial system. For aren't they suppose to protect us from our abusers? Well they do not, they give them more power and control so they can continue their reign of terror upon their helpless victims. When will it ever end for not only myself but other woman and children in our country. I am hoping and praying it does not end with my demise.

Whew...I feel better already...if anyone actually read this blog post I thank you for letting me vent and get this off my chest.

©2014 Lysa Wilds