Where Did The Building Go?

    

        I moved to rural Iowa from Phoenix, Arizona the summer of 2003.  Once there I realized I had a bad case of culture shock.  The town we moved to had a population of 800 people and the majority of them lived out on the surrounding farms.

        Being a city girl all of my life I had no clue what I was supposed to do in a small town in the middle of nowhere.  I even had to look at a map to see where Iowa was before moving there.  I was use to having a variety of stores and bars to choose from on every street corner; but not in this small town.

        The grocery store was the size of a Circle K and it was filled with things I’ve never even heard of before.  There meat section was a butcher who cut your meat to order.  They didn’t have the meat pre-packaged for your convenience you had to ask the butcher even for a pound of ground beef.

        There wasn’t even a bar in town, only a bowling alley which was open odd hours and odd days of the week.  The pharmacy reminded me of the Andy Griffith Show where the old ladies went to gossip, but hey they delivered.

        The one thing I could never wrap my head around was the elevator that sat at the end of Main Street.  I was always curious about what happened to the building around it and why they left the elevator there standing all alone.

        After I had lived there for awhile and had made some friends I finally felt comfortable enough to ask about the building.  My biggest fear was that it had come tumbling down in a horrific tragedy, my over active imagination at work again.

        So I mustered up the courage and finally asked, “What happened to the building at the end of Main Street?”

        “What building Lysa?” my friend asked.

        “The one that the elevator belonged to,” was my response.

        Everyone erupted into an uncontrollable laughter for what seemed like an eternity, and then my friend said, “Lysa, it’s a grain elevator.  It’s where the farmers store their grain.”

        I felt like a complete idiot but started laughing at myself and said, “Where I come from they are used to take you up and down the floors of a building.”  Needless to say for the next four years, until I moved back to Arizona, I was constantly teased about the elevator without a building at the end of Main Street.

©2014 Lysa Wilds

Mommy I Need One of Those…

     

     My daughter, Kelsey, has been clumsy since the day she learned to walk.  She was always falling and tripping over air!!  One day she had fallen down the steep staircase in the 1900 Victorian Gingerbread home I owned in Iowa.  The poor kid just could not stay on her feet and was always getting hurt.

     One morning when she was about four years old we were watching TV waiting for the Head Start school bus to pick her up.  A commercial came on the TV and I started to walk away.  Kelsey yelled, “Mommy, Mommy it’s my show.”  I walked back into the living room to see what she was talking about.  When she saw me she pointed to the TV and said, “I need one of them so I don’t fall down!”  I started laughing hysterically because it was a commercial for the Scooter Store.

     I spent the next 15 minutes trying to explain to a four year old that those were for people who had a hard time walking because of their health etc.  She just wasn’t getting why she couldn’t get one because she had a hard time walking just like the people on the commercial.  Finally I just said, “Kelsey, did you notice that all the people on the commercial were older like Great Grandma?  That’s why you can’t have one you’re just too young.”  Surprisingly, it worked and she moved onto another topic of conversation until her bus arrived.

     Ever since that day when a scooter commercial comes on I yell so she can hear me, “Kelsey your show is on!”  Brooklynn and I then laugh hysterically while Kelsey rolls her eyes at us!

©2014 Lysa Wilds

Epic Fail First Day as a Freshman

   

 I tried my best to prepare my 14 year old daughter for her first days as a lowly freshman in high school.  Her step-mom joined us for the pep rally and orientation.  We even toured the campus to show her where her classes, bathrooms, locker room, lunch room, etc where.  After all the school really hasn’t changed since I was a freshman there.

     We really thought she was prepared and would be just fine.  Her step-mom dropped her off the first day of school and she was to take the bus home to my house that afternoon.  Sounds easy enough right?

      She couldn't figure out how to open her locker.  (It took over a week before a friend showed her how.)  Then she ended the day with an epic fail!  She forgot her bus number and instead of just looking for her friends that live in our neighborhood she freaks out and runs to the bookstore.  She waited in line for 30 minutes to get her bus number.  By the time she finally got her bus number all of the buses had left the school.  Her step-mom rescued her and brought her home to me.

      When she finally arrived home she found her bus schedule and bus number taped to her bedroom door and I made her write the bus number on every binder and folder she had in her backpack.  She is definitely a mini me and should have been born with blonde hair just like me.

       There will be more stories about Miss Brooklynn and her high school adventures she comes home every day with another hilarious story and yes they are true…my poor Peanut!

©2014 Lysa Wilds

Welcome to my Circus but I wouldn't have it any other way!

     This is my blog about how my life is seriously a circus with kids, dogs, a cat, a new husband, recovering from planning a wedding, finding my way in my new role as housewife, step-children, grandchildren, crazy neighbors, my parents living around the corner from me, you name it I’ll be writing about it. Trust me if it’s going to happen to anyone it probably already happened to me. Get your Circus Peanuts and a refreshing beverage and join me as I laugh at myself and my crazy life…hope you’ll be laughing along with me!

©2014 Lysa Wilds