~How I Met My Husband~

One evening in late March or early April of 2013, a friend called and asked me to go out with her.  I graciously declined because I was having a bad day, but after a few minutes she was able to talk me into going with her.  Now the mad dash to shower and do my hair and make-up was on.  I must have tried on more than ten different outfits before I was satisfied with how I looked.

I hopped into my truck and I drove over to her house.  When I arrived she was still getting ready, so we chatted as she finished her make-up.  She asked if we could stop to see a friend of hers real quick at the bar on the corner because he was there in a pool tournament.  I figured why not and agreed we would stop by there.  Little did I know my entire life was about to change.

When we pulled up to the bar on the corner a man walked out the front and will silly, funny animations with his hands acted as if my truck lights were blinding him.  I quickly turned off my lights and I found this funny stranger to be incredibly handsome.  That shocked me because I had not dated in two years nor had I found anyone attractive in that period of time.  I just was not interested until now.

It turns out that this handsome man was her friend Kenny.  She introduced us to one another and we stood their while they talked for a brief moment.  She and I took seats at the bar in front of the video game and began playing games.  After a few minutes she went to talk to someone while I continued to play the games, all the while looking back at Kenny every few minutes only to catch him looking at me each time.

Finally, in what seemed like forever, he came over to talk to me.  He asked me where my friend went and I told him I was unsure maybe the bathroom.  We awkardly chatted for a few minutes and he walked away and a few minutes later he, too, disappeared.  Unable to find either one of them I made my way out to the smoking section.

That's when I began to feel uncomortable.  The man and woman our there were nice enough but very weird, I can deal with weird but it was too weird for my taste.  I finished my cigarette and decided to just go sit in my truck and wait.  To my surprise, Kenny and my friend were waiting for me there already thank God!

The two of them finished their conversation and Kenny asked me in a concerned and caring tone, "You did not give that jackass your number did you?"  He was referring to the man in the smoking area.  Without even thinking I blurted out, "NO!  But I would give it to you."  I completely shocked him because he actually said out loud, "Umm Umm Umm!"  The three of us laughed and he had to go so he said he would get my number from our friend.

We then went on our way to our destination and had a lot of fun.  My kept wandering off thinking about the mysterious Kenny I had met earlier.  I giggled more than a few times to myself because I could not believe I blurted that out to him.

The next day my friend called to let me know Kenny had asked her for my number.  We were both excited and she told me what a great guy he was.  Three very long days went by before he finally called me.  The conversation was short and awkward.  He called me everyday for about three days and the conversations were always short and awkward.  One of them ended with him saying, "You have a funny laugh."  Which left me wondering funny as in ha ha or funny as in I should not laugh anymore?

We finally decided to meet at my house one evening to have a cocktail and go from there.  We quickly discovered how much we had in common and how comfortable it was talking to one another.  Before we knew it, it was 3:00 am.  The hours that had just passed only seemed like minutes.  From that evening he never left except to go to work and on April 26, 2013, we officially became boyfriend and girlfriend.

A few months later on July 24, 2013, he asked me to marry him with the most stunning ring I have ever seen. Obviously, I said yes and on our one year anniversary April 26, 2014 we were married.  I finally found my Prince Charming and have only just begun to enjoy my Happily Ever After!  And to think I almost did not go out that night.

©2014 Lysa Wilds

~ What Exactly Is RSD ~

Since I'm asked quite often what RSD (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy) is, I decided to write a blog about the disease. The information in this blog post is based on the two plus years of research I have done on RSD. I will include a list of all the websites where I have obtained my facts at the end of this blog.

My hopes are to bring more awareness to this intensely painful, crippling, and deforming disease. The reason I want to create more awareness is because currently there is not a cure for RSD and funding is desperately needed for further research.

For those of you who do not know much about me, I was diagnosed with RSD a little over two years ago. It took several months and specialists before they could determine what was wrong with me.

How it began ~

I just woke up one morning with horrific pain in my left foot. I was baffled because I had not done anything to injure that foot the day before. I wrapped it with an ace bandage and suffered as the pain increased daily. After about a week, I just could not take it anymore so I finally called my doctor.

That was in January 2012, and by June 2012, I was in a wheelchair 100% of the time. Within those few months the disease had spread to my right foot as well. I could no longer bear any weight on my feet to walk or stand. After several months of intensely painful physical therapy, in which I cried every time; I slowly began to walk again. They were only baby steps at first but I was walking.

Where I am today ~

It has been two and a half years since the pain began and I only need my wheelchair about 60% of the time. I have learned to manage around my house with only the occasional use of a walker. The only time I use my wheelchair is if we are shopping or out somewhere and a lot of walking is required as I still cannot stay on my feet for long.

They still have not found a treatment that gives me any relief. I have had to force myself to just "deal" with the intense pain the best I can. I decided to stop taking all of the narcotic pain medication because despite the high dosages I was still in constant pain but was unable to function. I also stopped the monthly nerve block injections because the small amount of relief was not worth the damage I was doing to my body by being put under anesthesia every month. I am currently waiting for an appointment with a Neurologist as the neurological symptoms are getting worse.

My feet are now deformed as the bones in my feet and toes have shifted. I am unable to wear shoes, only flip flops, and in order to walk I have to turn my feet so that I am applying the pressure to the outsides of them. As I cannot apply any pressure to the balls of my feet without crying due to the intense pain.

We still don't know how, but I have broken the metatarsal bone in my right foot twice. The only reason I went to the doctor for that was because the pain was in a different place and didn't seem right; that is how intense my everyday pain is. But enough about me. Here is what I have learned...

RSD (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy) ~

They can date RSD back to the American Civil War, yet it is still pretty much a medical mystery because no one really knows what causes it. Currently there are several theories in regards to the cause which are:

A dysfunction in the sympathetic nervous system;

An overactive immune system response;

Nerve damage;

Soft tissue injuries;

Surgery;

and Stroke.

RSD is unique because it affects nerves, skin, muscle, blood vessels, and bones all at the same time; unlike any other disease. RSD symptoms either come and go or they are long lasting.

Diagnosing RSD ~

RSD can be difficult to diagnose and requires ruling out other conditions that produce similar symptoms first. A thorough history and a neurological exam are very important. A Physical examination includes observing the skin color and temperature; sweating, and vascular reactivity; overgrown and grooved nails; swollen and stiff joints; muscle weakness and atrophy.

Other conditions are ruled out by MRI studies, a full laboratory panel, EMG/NCV, and a thermogram test.

Symptoms of RSD ~

RSD is a chronic pain condition. The symptoms include; continuous intense pain that gets worse instead of better over time. It is very common for the symptoms to spread beyond the limb initially affected. It most often affects arms, legs, hands, or feet and is accompanied by the following:

Severe limited mobility;

Contractions of muscles and tendons (limbs may be twisted);

Irreversible changes to bone and skin;

Motor disability, with decreased ability to move affected body part;

Muscles in the area may also become weak and stiff. Jerks and twitches may occur in the hands or feet that are affected;

Changes in skin color, temperature, and texture;

Changes in hair and nail growth patterns;

Commonly the pain will have a tingling, burning and electric like feeling;

As well as constant deep aches and sudden jolts of shocking pain.

It is also important to mention that stress triggers activation of the sympathetic nervous system and increases the pain of RSD. So any amount of emotional stress at all can cause the symptoms to worsen.

The Three Stages ~

There are three stages associated with RSD and it is not uncommon for some patients to have symptoms of all three stages at the same time.


Stage One Symptoms ~

Burning pain usually in the hand or foot;

Swelling and tenderness to affected area;

Temperature and color change to the affected area;

Excessive sweating often accompanied by a low-grade fever;

Increased hair and nail growth;

Loss of movement in joints;

and Muscle spasms.


Stage Two Symptoms ~

Extreme sensitivity; light touching, breezes, bed sheets, or air conditioning can cause an extreme amount of pain;

Spreading pain; can spread to other limbs and up to the shoulders or hips;

Hair growth decreases and nails become cracked, brittle, grooved, and spotty;

Increased swelling;

Bone and joint damage; osteoporosis sets in. Joints thicken and become less mobile;

and Muscle atrophy.


Stage Three Symptoms ~

Severe bone, muscle, and skin damage; the changes in the affected bone, muscle, and skin become irreversible;

Constant pain; the pain becomes merciless;

as well as, Severe mobility limitations; there is muscle atrophy and severely limited mobility of the affected area. Joint movement is greatly impaired and occasionally the limb will be dislodged.

Treatment ~

Due to the fact that the cause of RSD is usually a mystery, it often takes some time before an effective treatment can be found. Since there is no cure for RSD, treatments are aimed at relieving painful symptoms in hopes that those who suffer from RSD can resume their normal lives; unfortunately that often is not the case. The following RSD treatments are frequently used:

Psychotherapy ~

RSD often has profound psychological effects on those affected and their families. Among other things, psychotherapy often helps those with RSD cope with the stress of the disease and discover ways to deal with it.

Physical Therapy ~

A gradually increasing program of exercise to keep the affected limb moving in hopes to restore some range of motion and function.

Medications ~

Many different classes of medication are used to treat RSD, including topical analgesic, anti-seizure medications, antidepressants, corticosteroids, and opioids. Unfortunately, no single medication or combination of medications has produced consistent long-lasting improvement of RSD symptoms.

Sympathetic Nerve Block ~

One procedure involves IV administration of phentolamine, a drug that blocks sympathetic receptors. Another procedure places an anesthetic next to the spine to directly block the sympathetic nerves.

Intrathecal Drug Pumps ~

This is a device that administers medication directly to the spinal fluid so that they are being delivered directly to pain-signaling targets in the spinal cord at doses far lower than those required when taken by mouth.

Spinal Cord Stimulation ~

This procedure places stimulating electrodes next to the spinal cord providing a pleasant tingling sensation in the painful area.

RSD Prognosis ~

Each person with RSD will have a different prognosis and the components that affect this are unknown. Some patients experience spontaneous remission from symptoms while others have unyielding pain and irreversible changes despite the same treatment. Some doctors believe early treatment helps to limit the effects of RSD, but it has not been supported by evidence from RSD research or clinical studies.

In Closing ~

It is hard for me to understand the fact that RSD was first diagnosed during the Civil War yet it remains a medical mystery. Why is it that there is still so much more research that is needed to understand the causes, how it progresses, the role of early treatment, and most importantly to find a cure for RSD? Those, like myself, who suffer from RSD can only hope educating the public and creating awareness will help in finally finding the answers and the cure we so desperately need.

Resources for the information in this blog came from:

eMedTV.com

RSDHope.org

MayoClinic.com

pain.about.com

health.ny.gov

Helpforpain.com

©2014 Lysa Wilds

~ The Most Trying of Times ~

I'm going through, for a lack of a better description, an incredibly difficult time in my life. I feel the need to write about it so I can process it all and get it all out at the same time. But, and it's a really big but, I cannot and will not give any specific details. This leaves me perplexed because how can I write about it without actually talking about it? Well, here we go...

I have been bullied, tortured, verbally abused, mentally abused, and pushed to the edge of insanity for over four years now. Technically it has been about 12 years, but the last four have been unfathomable! Still not sure if it is obsession, hatred, or both that is fueling this persons desire to hurt me. Enough is enough already!

They will never push me over the edge like we all assume is their master plan. I am a much stronger person than they have ever given me credit for. I am even stronger now that I have taken back the power I gave them to hurt me in the first place. This is only a perplexing and frightening situation in lieu of a hurtful one for the first time.

I have been married less than two months. This is suppose to be my honeymoon and my happily ever after. Not my biggest nightmare parts three and four; but that is what it has become.

I actually found out today that this recent scheme began 25 days before my wedding day. A ploy that not only myself, but those closest to me believe was developed to try and ruin my wedding day. Thankfully God was watching out for me and it did not commence until after our wedding.

My life story needs to be turned into a book. It is far stranger than fiction with unbelievable twists and turns throughout. There are several situations in which you would be certain of the outcome then at the last minute the exact opposite occurs again and again. One day, when I am ready to relive it all I will do just that. For my own safety and sanity it may just have to wait about five more years.

Our justice system is so incredibly flawed that my stomach turns just thinking about it. I want my justice at last! I want for once, for the judge to actually look at only the proven facts and the evidence before him instead of believing the fabricated and exaggerated lies, that are all just speculation. There is not a shed of evidence or proof to his stories. This person will and has concocted unbelievable tales every time accusations are brought up against him. It is his way of deflecting the situation at hand away from him and aimed in my direction. He is a master manipulator and a pathological liar and that is being kind.

I can only pray that the time is approaching rather quickly in which I just might obtain the justice I so desperately want and deserve. I'm fearful of the decision I may be forced to make...it hurts my heart and soul to even think about making it. But beyond a shadow of a doubt this reign of terror, control, and abuse must be brought to a permanent end this time around! One way or another it WILL cease to emerge EVER again! This time a line has been crossed that never should have been crossed. It will no longer be tolerated in any case, in any event, or in any manner from here on out.

I have exhaustively and painstakingly been pushed past my emotional and physical limit. My health is deteriorating on a consistent basis due to the unnecessary stress being forced upon me as a direct result of his fraudulent accusations. I am constantly in unimaginable pain and am hardly without severe tremors in my feet. This is accompanied by perpetual seizures that have me terrified I might not make it out of this alive.

I am absolutely frightened, heartbroken, repulsed, and devastated when taking everything in mind. I may, as a result of the deterioration of my health, be incapable of seeing this battle through to the end. It is a choice I struggle with every second of every day. I will persevere until I am on my death bed but it never should have come this far.

I am disgusted with every aspect of the judicial system. For aren't they suppose to protect us from our abusers? Well they do not, they give them more power and control so they can continue their reign of terror upon their helpless victims. When will it ever end for not only myself but other woman and children in our country. I am hoping and praying it does not end with my demise.

Whew...I feel better already...if anyone actually read this blog post I thank you for letting me vent and get this off my chest.


©2014 Lysa Wilds

Our Dream Wedding Turned Circus

After nine long, grueling months of planning our dream wedding, right down to the tiniest of details, nothing could have ever prepared us for what happened that day. Several weeks prior to April 26, the weather forecast was predicated to be 91°F that day. Which had me terrified of passing out in the long sleeve, vintage, wedding gown my Mother and I had restored.

Then just a few days before our wedding the weather forecast made a drastic change. Now there was a good chance of thunderstorms and the high for the day dropped to 71°F. The rain chances sent me into a panic for we were to be married outside at a mountain preserve with our reception to follow there as well.

I had remembered from an old Jewel song that rain on your wedding day wasn't a bad omen. So, immediately, I hopped on Google where I quickly discovered it was indeed good luck. The panic subsided and I got the perfect umbrella just in case.

After several hours of hair and make-up the morning of our wedding day I truly felt like a princess with my entourage of favorite ladies surrounding me. Suddenly someone realized the time and we made a mad dash out the door as we raced to my wedding.






The first thing I noticed upon arriving was that nothing was decorated. I was puzzled because I had a whole team meet that morning to decorate for me. Well, as soon as I opened the car door to get out I quickly realized why. My veil flew out of my hair and my beautifully sculpted hair was just a mess. There were 30 mph wind gusts! I laughed at the insanity and said, "Well, at least the rain has stopped."





Kenny, my soon to be husband, had been setting up there at the preserve that morning and was running behind himself. I didn't stress once because it was our day! Besides, we're always late for everything anyway. tee hee So, I just decided to have an impromptu cocktail hour before the ceremony began.

Then, all of a sudden I heard my step-daughter, Sonnie, yell, "Hide! Dad's pulling in!" So, I took off running in my hot pink heels with the long train from my gown bunched up in my hands up an embankment no less. Well, what else was I supposed to do? It would have been bad luck for him to see me before the ceremony so I had no choice. God must have been carrying me because I'm in a wheelchair quite often. Later I was told how hilarious the sight truly was.

As I'm hiding off to the side our minister, who is a dear friend of mine from high school, drops a major bomb on me. He insists that someone has to give me away. (My Father and brother had already declined months before.) Thankfully, another childhood friend jumped at the chance to do the honors! So arm in arm we we began to slowly make our way out from where I was hiding.



The procession music began to play and the winds calmed almost as if it was their cure to do so. The ceremony was beautifully, heart touching and brought tears to several eyes. David, our minister, blessed our marriage with a prayer after our vows, and introduced us as Mr. and Mrs. Wilds for the first time. As we walked down the aisle I saw my friend Laura wipe tears from her eyes and a few fell from mine.







We barely finished signing our marriage license when the 30 mph wind gusts picked up again but this time even stronger. The chairs from the ceremony took flight, two large speakers blew over, all of our jello shots blew away, and a dear friend of mine was impaled in her leg with a branch. Thankfully she was ok!

Without hesitation Kenny and I announced that we would move the reception to our house. But, my sister, Mellisa, and brother-in-law, Frank, insisted we move the reception to their home instead. Within a matter of minutes everything was loaded up and ready to go thanks to all of or guests lending a hand. It was seriously a circus and I kept looking for the little car with a ton of clowns packed inside of it to pull up.


(This was an uprooted tree blocking all of the East bound lanes as we left the park. Once we got to the other side of the tree we noticed it had actually fallen on a car!)

The last minute change of venue for our reception didn't put a damper on the festivities at all. It was beyond fabulous and so much fun; even more than I ever anticipated!








I am always saying how my life is like a circus, so why would my wedding be any different? Despite the chaos it truly was my perfect wedding day just as I have always dreamed of. Because at the end of the day I married my best friend and my one true love!



There is no doubt in my mind that the Lord was watching over us on our wedding day and everything that unfolded was all in His master plan. The winds stopped and the storm calmed just long enough for our ceremony. Also, my mother-in-law is in bad health and wasn't able to make it to our wedding...but my sister and brother-in-law live right down the road from her. It gave us the chance to stop by and spend a few minutes with her on our day. Being able to see Mom truly made it the perfect day!

©2014 Lysa Wilds

The True Meaning of Self Love; My Personal Journey

All of my adult life I've heard you need to truly love yourself or you will never be truly happy, find true love, and so on.  I honestly thought I loved myself and was confident that I knew who I really was so I didn't know what all the fuss was about.  I mean doesn't everyone love themselves, I would find myself thinking.  Then, a little over two years ago I was diagnosed with an incurable disease that progressively got worse. 


I alienated myself from the world and for more than a year I locked myself up in my house, only leaving when absolutely necessary.  I only allowed a few friends to see me in this weak and vulnerable way.  I was embarrassed of my wheelchair, the weight I was gaining, and the way the bones in my feet were being deformed. 


It was then, at the weakest, most loneliest time of my life when I realized not only that I didn't know who I was but that I never really loved myself either.  I also realized I had spent my life always putting everyone else and their needs first, ignoring my own real needs.  It was a long, lonely journey but slowly, with lots of tears, I began to get to know myself and what I did and didn't want in my life. 

I reflected on every aspect of my life focusing on the good and bad outcomes of past events.  Some things that I didn't want to face, some that brought back tremendous pain, and many things I didn't want to admit were my fault.  Now that was a real eye opener.  What I realized was that if I would have truly loved myself back then things probably would have turned out much different.  

If I wouldn't have done this self-reflection I don't think I'd be getting ready to walk down the aisle in two weeks like I am doing today, nor would I have finally known what true love was like.  I can honestly say that I now not only know who I am but I truly love and respect myself. Something that is still new to me. 


I have slowly come to terms with my disease thanks to my self-reflection and my amazingly supportive fiancé, Kenny.  Slowly my confidence continues to return and the new and improved Lysa gets stronger mentally and physically every day, as this is a life long journey.  


I can say for the first time in my life that this is who I am; take it or leave it, makes no difference to me.  I found out what it truly means to love yourself, I dare you to do the same!

     xx

Lysa

© 2014 Welcome to My Circus

Stop This Ride I Want Off!!!!

Being the parent of two teenage daughters is a lot like being Bi-Polar; ups, downs, highs, lows, giggles to tears in an instant, and not wanting to get out of bed to face them and the drama.  It’s enough to make a sane person seek professional help!

            I struggle with Bi-Polar; I have my whole life, so I personally know how the two are so very similar.  For a little over three years now I’ve been stable on my treatment plan.  The most stable I’ve ever been.  I have a wonderful team of doctors, nurses, counselors, and other staff members and we’ve been through hell and back to get me where I am today.  My life has never been better.  I can finally function like a normal person; whatever normal is.

            Then a month ago it happened…my beautiful daughters, who I love more than anything in the world, completely lost their minds.  I’m at my breaking point mentally and physically.  My doctor has increased my anxiety medicine and unfortunately told me there wasn’t a pill I could take to deal with teenage girls all the while giggling at me.

            It’s a war zone and roller coaster mixed into one in my house.  There is constant fighting between the two of them where blows have been thrown and lips have bled and then there is this horrific high pitched scream that makes my ears bleed every time.  Needless to say they are in individual counseling but no luck there; at least not yet.

            The only thing I’m certain of these days is that these monsters are not the sweet, kind, and caring young ladies I raised.  It’s been about a month since I’ve seen those young ladies.  I see my daughters every day, well at least the shell of what use to be my daughters. 

            When will this madness end?

©2014 Lysa Wilds

Where Did The Building Go?

    

        I moved to rural Iowa from Phoenix, Arizona the summer of 2003.  Once there I realized I had a bad case of culture shock.  The town we moved to had a population of 800 people and the majority of them lived out on the surrounding farms.

        Being a city girl all of my life I had no clue what I was supposed to do in a small town in the middle of nowhere.  I even had to look at a map to see where Iowa was before moving there.  I was use to having a variety of stores and bars to choose from on every street corner; but not in this small town.

        The grocery store was the size of a Circle K and it was filled with things I’ve never even heard of before.  There meat section was a butcher who cut your meat to order.  They didn’t have the meat pre-packaged for your convenience you had to ask the butcher even for a pound of ground beef.

        There wasn’t even a bar in town, only a bowling alley which was open odd hours and odd days of the week.  The pharmacy reminded me of the Andy Griffith Show where the old ladies went to gossip, but hey they delivered.

        The one thing I could never wrap my head around was the elevator that sat at the end of Main Street.  I was always curious about what happened to the building around it and why they left the elevator there standing all alone.

        After I had lived there for awhile and had made some friends I finally felt comfortable enough to ask about the building.  My biggest fear was that it had come tumbling down in a horrific tragedy, my over active imagination at work again.

        So I mustered up the courage and finally asked, “What happened to the building at the end of Main Street?”

        “What building Lysa?” my friend asked.

        “The one that the elevator belonged to,” was my response.

        Everyone erupted into an uncontrollable laughter for what seemed like an eternity, and then my friend said, “Lysa, it’s a grain elevator.  It’s where the farmers store their grain.”

        I felt like a complete idiot but started laughing at myself and said, “Where I come from they are used to take you up and down the floors of a building.”  Needless to say for the next four years, until I moved back to Arizona, I was constantly teased about the elevator without a building at the end of Main Street.

©2014 Lysa Wilds

The One and Only Time I Ditched School…

     

    On my way to school one morning during my eighth grade year I ran into two friends walking the opposite way.  They said they were ditching school and invited me to come along.  I figured why not I had been sick the day before so the school would never know.

     We left our neighborhood and had walked about two miles when my friends suggested we hop on the bus for the remainder of our journey.  Having a father who is a bus driver I was scared.

      “What if it’s my Daddy’s bus?” I asked

      “What are the odds of that actually happening?”  One of my friends replied.

      Thinking it through for a brief moment I agreed with her just as the bus came to a stop.  The doors opened and sure enough my Daddy was at the wheel staring down at us.  The three of us couldn’t move at first then I yelled, “Run!”  My friends quickly followed behind me.  Then I saw Cortez Park and screamed, “Follow me to the park he can’t drive the bus through the park!”

      We made it to the center of the rather large park all gasping for air.  Once I caught my breath I uttered, “I knew it would be my Daddy’s bus I just knew it.  He’s going to kill me.”

      We ran, then walked, then ran some more until we finally made it to my friend’s boyfriend’s house.  We got a ride back home several hours later.  I threw out the outfit I was wearing and went home.  It seemed like an eternity until my Daddy got home that night.

      When he finally walked through the door I was terrified of what would happen next.  He asked how my day was and what I learned in school that day.  I made up a story about my day.  Then he looked down at me and said, “That’s funny because I saw you about to get on my bus.”  I denied it saying, "It must have been the girl down the street, everyone thinks we look alike."  

      “I know what my own daughter looks like,” he replied.

      “It wasn’t me Daddy,” I said before I could stop myself.

      “Well I’m going to call the school tomorrow to find out if you were there,” he stated with a look in his eyes that terrified me.

      My cocky teenage mouth blurted, “Go ahead I was there.”

      I cried myself to sleep that night unknowing if he was really going to call the school.  The whole next day I walked around like a zombie fearing what he was going to do to me. 

      That night when he got home he was furious with me.  Not because I ditched school but because I had disrespected him by lying to his face.  My punishment was harsh but I definitely deserved it.  The part that hurt the most was the mixture of sadness and disappointment in his eyes.

      To this day I do not lie if anything I’m too honest and often I tell on myself because the look I saw on my Daddy’s face that day I never wanted to see again.

©2014 Lysa Wilds

Mommy I Need One of Those…

     

     My daughter, Kelsey, has been clumsy since the day she learned to walk.  She was always falling and tripping over air!!  One day she had fallen down the steep staircase in the 1900 Victorian Gingerbread home I owned in Iowa.  The poor kid just could not stay on her feet and was always getting hurt.

     One morning when she was about four years old we were watching TV waiting for the Head Start school bus to pick her up.  A commercial came on the TV and I started to walk away.  Kelsey yelled, “Mommy, Mommy it’s my show.”  I walked back into the living room to see what she was talking about.  When she saw me she pointed to the TV and said, “I need one of them so I don’t fall down!”  I started laughing hysterically because it was a commercial for the Scooter Store.

     I spent the next 15 minutes trying to explain to a four year old that those were for people who had a hard time walking because of their health etc.  She just wasn’t getting why she couldn’t get one because she had a hard time walking just like the people on the commercial.  Finally I just said, “Kelsey, did you notice that all the people on the commercial were older like Great Grandma?  That’s why you can’t have one you’re just too young.”  Surprisingly, it worked and she moved onto another topic of conversation until her bus arrived.

     Ever since that day when a scooter commercial comes on I yell so she can hear me, “Kelsey your show is on!”  Brooklynn and I then laugh hysterically while Kelsey rolls her eyes at us!

©2014 Lysa Wilds

Epic Fail First Day as a Freshman

   

 I tried my best to prepare my 14 year old daughter for her first days as a lowly freshman in high school.  Her step-mom joined us for the pep rally and orientation.  We even toured the campus to show her where her classes, bathrooms, locker room, lunch room, etc where.  After all the school really hasn’t changed since I was a freshman there.

     We really thought she was prepared and would be just fine.  Her step-mom dropped her off the first day of school and she was to take the bus home to my house that afternoon.  Sounds easy enough right?

      She couldn't figure out how to open her locker.  (It took over a week before a friend showed her how.)  Then she ended the day with an epic fail!  She forgot her bus number and instead of just looking for her friends that live in our neighborhood she freaks out and runs to the bookstore.  She waited in line for 30 minutes to get her bus number.  By the time she finally got her bus number all of the buses had left the school.  Her step-mom rescued her and brought her home to me.

      When she finally arrived home she found her bus schedule and bus number taped to her bedroom door and I made her write the bus number on every binder and folder she had in her backpack.  She is definitely a mini me and should have been born with blonde hair just like me.

       There will be more stories about Miss Brooklynn and her high school adventures she comes home every day with another hilarious story and yes they are true…my poor Peanut!

©2014 Lysa Wilds

Scary Pants Pooping Time – Thanks Grannie Jane

 

   A few weeks before Halloween my son and I were going through Grannies’ boxes of Halloween Costumes trying to decide what we were going to be that year.  My son had to touch everything, and try everything on as little boys often do because they are always squirming around.

     Somewhere in the middle of our throwing costumes every where Grannie snuck away to her bedroom and called Dustin to come look at what she had found.  She met him at her bedroom door with the scariest mask I've ever seen and Dustin jumped at least 3 feet in the air and I screamed as if I was being murdered. 

     After we all calmed down and Grannie stopped laughing Dustin announced that his Grannie really scared the poop out of him and ran off to the bathroom. None of us kids or grand kids have ever liked that room and that’s not the only reason why. It’s just a spooky room to begin with and still to this day my son and I will not go into her room.

©2014 Lysa Wilds

The Worse Case of Bad Breath – EVER I’m Not Exaggerating!

When my son was about five years old almost overnight he developed the absolute horrific breath any of us had ever smelt.  His Dad, my Mom (Grannie Jane), and I tried everything to cure his horrid stomach turning breath.  We even started brushing his teeth for him, he was gargling with mouth wash, you name it we tried it. 

This went on for what seemed like an eternity but was really only a month or two.  His Dad decides to take him to his Pediatrician.  After only a few seconds in the room with them the doctor looked up my son’s nose and pulled rotted lunch meat out of his nostrils.  The bad breath went away almost immediately.

Turns out that my son knew it was up his nose but wasn't going to tell anyone because he put it up there so he wouldn't have to eat it in the first place.  His Dad is a big jokester so I didn't believe him at first then I wanted to pass out from embarrassment when I realized he wasn't joking around.

All I can say is I’m glad I didn't take him to see the Pediatrician…if memory serves me right I don’t think we ever took him back to see that doctor  again. 

©2014 Lysa Wilds

My Two Blessings in Disguise

   

    I’m trying hard to meet my first deadline for my new freelance writing job and told Brooklynn and Kelsey they needed to clean their rooms.  Of course they don’t understand the English that I speak and obviously today neither does Kenny.  What should have only taken an hour has taken several by the ridiculous interruptions that keep occurring.  

     Really Kenny you needed my opinion on which piece of plywood was best to use for the home improvement project your working on?  Then the “Hey Mom take a picture of us with the dogs for Instagram and insert #mancation”, they were watching Ridiculousness, seriously????  Then I hear a stomping elephant in the back of the house only to realize moments later that it was Kelsey when she said “Hey Mom don’t I look cute?" She was in Brooklynn’s graduation dress and 3” heels. 

     The best was when Kenny said “Can’t you find a more comfortable place to work?” My response, “I can’t even find a quiet place to work in this circus why do you care if I’m comfortable, I’m supposed to be working.” 

       Then right as I’m pondering whether or not it’s a good time to take a break I hear my precious girls in the hallway. Brooklynn yells, “Kelsey get back here and let me teach you how to slow dance.” I smirked, the stress immediately went away along with the frustration of them not cleaning their room for once they weren't fighting or bugging me. 

      As I finish writing this I now hear Kenny sawing the plywood from the garage…I told you my life was a circus!

©2014 Lysa Wilds

Welcome to my Circus but I wouldn't have it any other way!

     This is my blog about how my life is seriously a circus with kids, dogs, a cat, a new husband, recovering from planning a wedding, finding my way in my new role as housewife, step-children, grandchildren, crazy neighbors, my parents living around the corner from me, you name it I’ll be writing about it. Trust me if it’s going to happen to anyone it probably already happened to me. Get your Circus Peanuts and a refreshing beverage and join me as I laugh at myself and my crazy life…hope you’ll be laughing along with me!

©2014 Lysa Wilds