Saturday, March 29, 2014

I never thought I would be able to forgive…

 “Forgiveness is not always easy.  At times it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it.  And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.”   

~ Marianne Williamson

Reading that quote on my sister, Melissa's, Facebook wall made me sick to my stomach, tears poured down my face, it gave me goose bumps, and the images and memories I have been hiding from flashed before my eyes.  Then as I took a deep breath to calm my nerves I felt sorry for HIM.  I’ve been trying to heal for 16 years now and it happened in an instant all because of that quote.

I refuse to give details or discuss much about it because I still live in fear and those are memories best locked away.  What I will say is that for many years I was put through a living hell and lucky to have escaped with my life.  I endured things most of you can’t even begin to fathom.  I’ll tell my story one day because it is better than fiction, in a sick and twisted way, with an unbelievable ending that left the police officer sobbing on the phone with me when he had to tell me the news.  But I’m not writing about that today, I’m writing about forgiving.

Forgiveness has never been easy for me.  It is something I have always struggled with.  I’ve found that with distance and time I have forgiven others when recalling events.  There is always an instant feeling of peace when you finally let go of that negative energy and truly forgive.

Forgiving someone who destroyed your life, made up stories to hide the truth about HIM, continually tortured you for 16 years and counting was absolutely out of the question!  Wouldn’t you agree?  Well today it all ends!  I forgive YOU for the 13 years you took away from me.  Most of all I forgive YOU for what you have been doing to her for the past 16 years.  I forgive YOU and I also know you’ll either hear about this or maybe even read it yourself.  I pray YOU can forgive yourself the way that I have forgiven YOU today!

Yes, my hands are shaking and tears are flowing as I write this and yes I’m terrified of what might happen because I am forgiving HIM in such a public forum; but I’m finally free all because I forgave the unforgiveable!  I took another deep breath and felt the tension, fear, and torment leave once and for all.  I truly feel at peace! 

Thank you Marianne Williamson for such a powerful quote!

©2014 Lysa Wilds