Friday, September 26, 2014

The Walrus Show

My girls and I hanging out on my bed

I was in bed one afternoon feeling the full effects of the RSD (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy).  I had just finished crying from the intense pain I was experiencing when my daughters, Brooklynn and Kelsey, knocked on the door asking if they could come in.  They both found comfy spots to lounge on my bed so we could “hang” and watch TV together while I nodded off here and there.

 Each time I opened up my eyes and saw them lying there it brought comfort to my heart and soul.  Here were two teenage girls that would rather “hang” with their sick Mom in her bed than do anything else.  I am truly blessed to have such loving and caring children.

 The last time I nodded off, before they went to bed, I woke to find that my beautiful daughters’ had been transformed into freaky walrus’.  I began to laugh hysterically at the sight before me.  “How long have the two of you been sitting there like that?” I asked.  Kelsey’s response was, “I don’t know maybe 20-15 minutes.”  I chuckled at what she had said for that is not a typo. That is how she ALWAYS describes time frames…but that is a whole other blog post.

Brooklynn and Kelsey as the Freaky Walrus'

I have always, since being diagnosed with RSD, tried so hard to be strong and not let them see how much pain I am truly in.  But, the more I pushed through the pain, the more damage I was doing to myself.  I had to learn how to be weak and vulnerable in front of not only them but others in my life who I am close to.  That in and of itself was a major battle for myself, and my girls’ as well.

They were so use to Mom doing everything for them and around our house, that for the first time in their lives they were flat out disobeying me by refusing to do anything in order to help out around here.  On a few occasions they even got so upset by my simple requests that they yelled, “I miss my old Mom!”  Those words cut like a million knives through my heart.  I miss the old me too, do they really think I like being this way? 

We found ourselves in a battleground at home and a family meeting was definitely in order.  I let both girls take all the time they needed, individually, to express their feelings and why they thought they felt this way.  It turns out that the majority of it was my own fault because they never had to do any chores, before the RSD took over our lives I did EVERYTHING!  The other major issue was the fact that I had no choice but to spend a lot of time in bed and they missed me and the relationship we had.

So to remedy the situation, I made a chore chart for everyone in the house, Kenny and I included.  The girls even started to earn an allowance if all of their chores were completed every day.  The other change I made was to make it a point when they were here to lay on the couch instead of my bed as much as I could and when I had to be in bed I allowed them to come “hang” and watch TV in my bedroom even if I was sleeping on and off.

I guess the changes made a difference because instead of acting out because I kept nodding off, this particular day, they came up with their wacky silly walrus’ show to lift my spirits and hear my laugh.  I am the luckiest Mom in the world to have such amazing daughters who have huge imaginations and personalities but even bigger hearts!

© 2014 Lysa Wilds