Saturday, November 15, 2014

Stream of Consciousness ~ Week 20 #SOCSaturday #blogging #freewriting

The following post is for the Stream of Consciousness linky in which I will participate for the first time today.  We are asked to set a timer for five minutes and just free write whatever comes into our minds, then post it on social media so we can link it up to the host.  Okay, I am as ready as I am going to be so here we go 1, 2, and 3!  (This portion was written before I set the timer to explain what in the world is going on below.)

The five minute timer is now set so this would be the beginning…

This year I have not been able to get into any of the holidays.  I usually go all out and decorate every room in the house.  But by the time Halloween had arrived I was in no mood to get the boxes of decorations out of the garage nor did I have the energy to even think about beginning to decorate.

Now that Thanksgiving is only a few weeks away I find myself not wanting to participate in our traditional family feast.  Part of the reason, I think is because it begins so early and this year it will begin at 10 a.m.  I know I will show up because I can’t do that to my family but I’m just saying right now that I really don’t feel like celebrating so much.

Now that has made me think about Christmas which I have been trying to avoid for the closer it gets the more depressed I seem to be.  I use to love holidays so much I couldn’t wait for them to be near but considering all that has happened this year it’s no wonder I just don’t feel like celebrating anything. 

I need to find some way to snap out of this mood.  It’s not fair after all to my wonderful hubby.  I will push through and force myself to decorate the tree if that is what I have to do to get through what will be such a lonely Christmas season this year.  No stockings to fill, no presents or toys to be bought.  It really just doesn’t seem all that real still to me.

Before I know it the holidays will finally be far gone and I will be able to snap out of this depressed state.  For why even bother to celebrate when your family is not right?  I miss them so much it hurts every day, but this too shall pass and there will be better days.  I just wish that those better days would hurry up and start like today.

Man this free writing is getting to be rather hard on me.  For I can’t keep just one single thought inside my head as I sit here and write.  If I didn’t know any better I would swear I was going crazy.  Don’t worry or fret for that was only a joke.  After all we all now know after court yesterday how the ex and his gal are stalking me.  I guess whatever seems to make them happy in all reality it’s rather amusing to me.

My husband looks bored and is probably wondering when I’m going to stop typing and finally pay some attention to him this Saturday.  There goes the timer and my time is now up.



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