The
following post is for the Stream of Consciousness linky in which I will
participate for the first time today. We
are asked to set a timer for five minutes and just free write whatever comes
into our minds, then post it on social media so we can link it up to the
host. Okay, I am as ready as I am going
to be so here we go 1, 2, and 3! (This
portion was written before I set the timer to explain what in the world is
going on below.)
The
five minute timer is now set so this would be the beginning…
This
year I have not been able to get into any of the holidays. I usually go all out and decorate every room
in the house. But by the time Halloween
had arrived I was in no mood to get the boxes of decorations out of the garage
nor did I have the energy to even think about beginning to decorate.
Now
that Thanksgiving is only a few weeks away I find myself not wanting to
participate in our traditional family feast.
Part of the reason, I think is because it begins so early and this year
it will begin at 10 a.m. I know I will
show up because I can’t do that to my family but I’m just saying right now that
I really don’t feel like celebrating so much.
Now
that has made me think about Christmas which I have been trying to avoid for
the closer it gets the more depressed I seem to be. I use to love holidays so much I couldn’t
wait for them to be near but considering all that has happened this year it’s
no wonder I just don’t feel like celebrating anything.
I
need to find some way to snap out of this mood.
It’s not fair after all to my wonderful hubby. I will push through and force myself to
decorate the tree if that is what I have to do to get through what will be such
a lonely Christmas season this year. No
stockings to fill, no presents or toys to be bought. It really just doesn’t seem all that real
still to me.
Before
I know it the holidays will finally be far gone and I will be able to snap out
of this depressed state. For why even
bother to celebrate when your family is not right? I miss them so much it hurts every day, but
this too shall pass and there will be better days. I just wish that those better days would
hurry up and start like today.
Man
this free writing is getting to be rather hard on me. For I can’t keep just one single thought
inside my head as I sit here and write.
If I didn’t know any better I would swear I was going crazy. Don’t worry or fret for that was only a
joke. After all we all now know after
court yesterday how the ex and his gal are stalking me. I guess whatever seems to make them happy in
all reality it’s rather amusing to me.
My
husband looks bored and is probably wondering when I’m going to stop typing and
finally pay some attention to him this Saturday. There goes the timer and my time is now up.
xx
Lysa
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